I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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