I just made out with a guy for $7.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
