you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
