GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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