Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
