i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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