can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
