so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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