Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
