Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I need a burrito and a hug.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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