Your tits are I can't wait for
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
