apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
