What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
