where am i from again
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
