You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just high enough for therapy.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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