Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
