therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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