Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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