R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You left your phone here
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