my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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