i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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