my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
