are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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