apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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