That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
