Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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