Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
