i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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