I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
