I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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