just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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