Dual....:-)
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
