We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
