Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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