I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
