The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
