Just fell off a train. Bad.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
