i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
