So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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