Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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