There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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