Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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