I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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