We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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