Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
