Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
