Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
