i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
