just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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