That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
