if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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