wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
