my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
