Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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