She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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